Can't We All Just Get Along?

I have to get this off my chest and hope you guys won't mind me venting for a second. This is not directed at any one person in particular but is something that's been bothering me for a long time and it's only getting worse. I don't talk much about politicians or political parties in public forums so this will probably be the only time you'll see anything from me about the elections this year. I'm not going to tell you who I support or how I think you should vote because that isn't relevant to what today's blog is about. I will say this - please remember that we are all hoping for a bright tomorrow. We may have different ideas about how to get there but just because we don't agree on programs or methods does not make me a bad person. It does not mean that I am stupid or evil. It also does not mean that I am out to destroy America.

 

I'm all for debate (if you know me at all then you know I like to argue) and think that if we could have truly honest and respectful discussions then we might be able to find some middle ground, or at least some room to compromise. I'm happy to say that a couple of my friends are doing just that, and I love to see them spitting ideas back and forth. But there are many, many more people digging in heels to declare how "we're right and you're wrong". Those people don't hear anyone else because they are too busy talking about their own superior ideologies. If we continue on this way as a society we are doomed to just beat ourselves into the ground. We can only move forward if we are willing to work together.

I have seen too many negative posts on both sides of this election and it makes me incredibly sad. Whether you like our current President or not, the racist posts and pictures about the Obamas should never be seeing the light of day. Nor should people be attacking Romney's family. Some of the things I've seen on FB lately have literally made me nauseous. When did it become ok to publicly make racist or hateful comments about someone just because you don't like their policies? At least they are trying to make a difference.

Let's focus on the actual issues and try to find some solutions rather than slinging mud back and forth. We get annoyed when our politicians do it - why shouldn't American citizens be held to the same "clean campaign" standards we want to see from those running for office? I regularly hear the words "liberal" and "conservative" thrown around as insults – I am not defined by the political party I'm affiliated with. 

I hope you will think of this the next time you are considering making a comment about this election. Does it help move the discussion forward? If not, we probably don't need to see or hear it. I know I'd prefer not to...

Justice for Who?

Ok, I obviously don't use this page often but every now and then I feel compelled to write a quick blog if there's an issue I feel strongly enough about.  Today is one of those days so here goes.

I will preface this blog by saying that I know many of my friends will disagree with me on this particular subject and that's fine.  I welcome your comments should you feel inclined to write them but ask that you remain respectful.  This post is not directed at any one person but rather an attempt to express a slightly different perspective.

People in Oklahoma City and other areas may not know of this story but if you live in or are from the Austin, TX area then you have surely heard about the furor developing as the result of an incident last weekend.  To fill everyone else in, on Saturday afternoon a police officer named Thomas Griffin was dispatched to a domestic disturbance and went to the address given to him by the dispatcher.  Little did he know that the address was wrong and that the house he was responding to was not where the disturbance had taken place (the inaccuracy is the result of a mistake by the reporting party who called 911 and not anyone at the police department).  Well long story short, the home owner of the property that Officer Griffin approached was at that moment playing in the backyard with his dog Cisco.  In an extremely inopportune coincidence the homeowner left his backyard to walk to his truck as the officer was approaching the house.  When Officer Griffin saw the homeowner he shouted for him to put his hands up (assuming that this could be the man the call had been made on).  Cisco in the backyard heard the commotion and ran out the still open fence toward the officer, barking and charging at him.  The assertion that the dog was barking and charging is not one that I'm assuming but rather something that the owner has admitted in the clip seen at the following link:

http://kissfm969.com/austin-police-officer-gets-wrong-address-wrong-and-shoots-innocent-mans-dog-video/

At that point the officer retreated and shot the dog simultaneously.

So now you know the story.  In the last few days my Facebook page has been inundated with posts about this story and how this police officer responded by using too much force.  People have accused police of being overzealous with firearms and have generally talked about how the entire profession is becoming more and more corrupt.  I've seen people make a point of the fact that Officer Griffin was at the wrong house (while never acknowledging that the address he visited was indeed the address where the incident was reported to have been occurring), that the dog wouldn't have hurt him (how on Earth could the officer know that the dog that was charging him and barking would not attack?), but mostly people are asking why he had his gun drawn in the first place.  That's the question I'd like to address in this post.

It's been bothering me for a few days and so I did some research.  Some of what I discovered I already knew but some of this information and these statistics were news to me.  Here's what I found out.

According to an article in the May 2011 publication of "Police Chief Magazine" and based on a long range study spanning 13 years they reported the following results:

"During the study period, 89 lethal domestic violence incidents resulted in the deaths of 106 officers, with several incidents resulting in the deaths of 2 or more officers. In the majority of events, domestic violence suspects murdered officers in ambushes and unprovoked attacks. In fact, 51 percent of all lethal domestic violence incidents involved officers slain without any warning, before they had made contact with the domestic violence suspect and before officers perceived any immediate threat to their safety."

All that verbiage boils down to one statistic that I can't get out of my head.  In more than 50% of the domestic disturbance LODDs (Line of Duty Deaths) the victim officer was straight up ambushed as soon as he or she responded to the call.

The article goes on to say "Moreover, it appears that the time of law enforcement’s arrival and the first minute or two thereafter are particularly lethal periods for law enforcement, regardless of the category of call to which an officer responds. Likewise, on lethal domestic violence calls for service, more than three-quarters of ambushes and unprovoked attacks on victim officers occurred within the first minutes of arrival on the scene, prior to the officer initiating any investigative activity or direct inquiry into the incident.

Specifically, 13 percent of ambushes occurred immediately upon arrival; these officers were slain either before having the chance to exit or directly upon exiting their vehicles (but before having a chance to approach the scene or identify the suspect). Similarly, 27 percent of ambushes occurred while officers were making their approaches (almost always to a residence); and 36 percent of attacks occurred immediately upon the officer’s entering a residence."

Still wondering why this officer had his weapon out as he approached the house? If you track this article down and read it in its entirety you will see that its purpose is to say that domestic disturbances actually account for a small percentage of LODDs but I have to say that 106 officers killed over 13 years does not seem minor to me.  Would you feel that way if it were you taking the call and walking up to the door?  Then to have a homeowner come around the corner followed by a dog who is barking aggressively as he moves quickly toward you?  Keep in mind - during the 15 seconds that the entire incident took place Officer Griffin still believed he was at the correct address and was dealing with a drunk man who had been holding a woman against her will.  Not one of us was there and can know what was going through his mind at that moment.

Having recently faced a similar situation where a dog ran up on me aggressively, I can tell you that had I been armed at the time I'd have reacted with the same level of force as he did. My husband has been attacked by two dogs in our neighborhood within the last 8 years.  Additionally, the particular dog that approached me has done the same thing on multiple other occasions when we or friends of ours were in my front yard.  The fact that this dog has never physically bitten any of us does not make him any less a threat in my opinion.  The other 2 dogs had never bitten anyone either - until they did.

I also just have one more thought I'd like to share.  Since the beginning of this year there have been 32 officers killed in the line of duty in The United States.  4 deaths in the last week alone and 2 of those officers were victims of gunfire.  Where are the people setting up Facebook posts calling for "Justice for Police Chief Michael P Maloney", who was shot and killed exactly 8 days before he was scheduled to retire?  I love animals and am heartbroken by this tragic circumstance but want to remind you all to take a step back and try to see this situation through the eyes of a police officer who was at risk of being attacked by a dog (or felt he was).  Even more personally for me, look at it through the eyes of a police wife who hopes her husband has the quick reflexes to react in the same way should he ever be in that situation.  I would much rather mourn the loss of a pet than watch a family mourn the life of a fallen officer who hesitated in a similar situation because he was afraid of public backlash.

As I said at the very beginning, I respect everyone's right to their own opinions but wanted to hopefully share a different perspective that you may not have taken into consideration. If you do disagree please allow me the same courtesy while I express my feelings on the issue, as so many of you have done in the last few days.

* Follow up (April 19) - I've changed the title of this post 3 times in 2 days because I just can't seem to think of one that explains my intentions with regard to this blog. The sheer hatred that I'm seeing is unbelievable and only seems to be growing in power. If you do feel strongly about this issue please take a moment to let your voice be heard.  At this point the story that is getting out is incredibly one sided and doesn't take into consideration the danger that our officers are in every time they respond to a domestic call (or any call, really). 

Hopeful - A Belated 9/11 Post

I know that September 11th has come and gone and that it was particularly meaningful to all Americans, as we looked back at that fateful day 10 years ago.  It changed all of us in profound and myriad ways and I don't think that anyone will ever be the same again. 

Last Sunday I attended Sunday School for the first time in about 9 years.  I didn't plan for that to happen on the anniversary of the attacks but had just happened to be talking to some girlfriends last Friday and this class sounded really interesting so I decided to visit the group.  While we sat there we spent some time at the beginning of class sharing our memories of where we were and what we were doing when we heard the news.  Some individuals spoke of friends of theirs at the time who happened to be Muslim and how it had affected them.  One friend told us about a coworker of hers who was Pakistani and by happenstance had traveled back to visit family in Pakistan just before the attacks.  As a result he was not able to return to America for a month because of increased security concerns.  We discussed the varied methods different people used to cope with this year's anniversary.  The responses ranged from one woman who avoided all reminders of that day to another who watched all the documentaries she could find because she'd been in the 6th grade at the time of the attacks and had not been as fully immersed as we were in the news coverage.  This was her first time to really see some of those images that the rest of us have had burned in our memories for the last decade.  I personally recorded a couple of documentaries from CNN and A&E but can tell you that as of the time I'm writing this blog I haven't watched more than 5 minutes of any of them.  I guess I'd fall into the category of people who just couldn't relive that destruction.  I spent that day focusing on peace and rebuilding.  I'm not saying that one method is better than the other.  I just know what worked for me.  So Sunday morning our entire service was peace-based from sermon to hymns.  In fact one of our hymns was one of my very favorite songs as a child, "Let There Be Peace on Earth".  If you don't know the song, take a listen here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxCOrfS_NY0 
The song is absolutely beautiful both in melody and message.

Anyway, after having finished our service I went home and played with the girls for a little while.  Ali knows the basics of what happened 10 years ago but has not seen any footage of the attacks themselves or their aftermath.  I know that at some point she will want to see it and bought an HBO documentary 8 years ago for just such a purpose (it's called "In Memoriam" and if you're looking for a good documentary on the attacks this is it) but am hoping we get a couple more years behind us before I have to break that out of it's case, which I literally haven't opened since purchasing the video so long ago.  *Goodness, that was the longest sentence I think I've ever typed!

Anyway, later that day there was an event held here in Norman which was so profound that I walked away feeling like a changed person again, having now seen the attacks and subsequent decade through the eyes of a Rabbi, an Imam and a Baptist preacher.  The title of the panel was "Abrahamic Faiths Post 9/11" and it was a transformative event to have attended.  I'll give you a brief overview of how it went and then get into the meat of what was said.  There was an OU choir there performing songs of hope, we had representatives from each of the faiths lead us in prayer, and first responders were recognized and thanked (in the forms of the chiefs of the NFD, NPD, OUPD and EMSSTAT director). 

Then there was a panel discussion.  First I should acknowledge the members of the panel, as their words were what made this whole event so powerful.  From NYC we had Rabbi Bradley Hirschfield, President of the National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership (who joked that there should be no doubt about how important it was for him to have come since he had to fly out of NYC that very morning in order to attend the event).  And both from the OKC metro area we had Imam Imad Enchassi, of the Islamic Society of Greater OKC and NorthHaven Baptist Church minister, Rev. Mitch Randall.  All 3 members of the panel discussed how the events of 9/11/01 impacted their lives, their faith and their religious communities, as well as our relationships with each other.  Here are some bits of what we heard:

Hirschfield started by saying that there is "virtually no precedent, if any, of peace being a dominant state of being" on Earth.  He later went on to acknowledge that there are violent sides to every western religion.  Just take a look at our Christian old testament for an example of what he's talking about.  Some of those stories give me the heebie jeebies every time I read them.  He also pointed out that many misconceptions about the different religions come from incorrect translation of the original text.  For example, he pointed to the commandment "Thou shalt not kill."  He reminded us that the original text doesn't exactly read that way.  The original commandment was "Thou shalt not murder."  Some may argue that this is just semantics but in the case of murder, Hirschfield stated that the person committing the act must be willing to carry the full moral responsibility for having made that decision.  It's an unfortunate fact that all to often people are killed in accidents, etc - by another person but not as the result of a deliberate intention, if that makes sense?

Enchassi joked when he first walked out that at least no one had tried to steal his identity for the last 10 years.  He told us that out of evil always comes good.  He also told us that on the morning of September 12, 2001 he woke up with one thought in his head:  "My faith has been hijacked."  I got chills when he said it.  What an interesting perspective - and one that I never would have thought to put into those words but which makes sense.  He said that later that morning (September 12, 2001) he drove out to his mosque with trepidation in his heart, afraid of retaliation against his mosque even though they had nothing to do with the attacks.  He stopped short when he saw something shiny in front of the door to the mosque.  Was it a bomb?  As he walked closer he discovered that multiple people had left them an aluminum bouquet of flowers as well as chocolates and cards on the front porch, offering words of support to the members of the mosque.  He was reminded of the parable of the Good Samaritan.  He said that God is not a violent God and if we'd all just practice our faith in the way He intended then peace is possible.  He reminded us that the 9/11 attacks happened to all of us and that when first responders were pulling people out of the rubble they surely never noticed the color of the victims' skin. 

Randall told us that "peace is a journey not a destination.  Sometimes we'll have to crawl, but hopefully one day we'll be able to run" with that peace.  He said that he's made many good friends post-9/11, including the Imam.  He said that the thing that most upsets him today is when clerics and friends of his villainize and stereotype people of other faiths.  He suggested that they all should be mindful of their rhetoric. 

Hirschfield gave one of the biggest money quotes of the day (in my opinion) with the following words:  "How we choose to look out for people who practice other faiths is a greater test of the integrity of our own faith than how we choose to look out for people who practice with us."  I'm not sure if it comes across as strongly in writing but it truly gave me goosebumps when he said it.

The last question that the moderator asked was what each of the panelists would say to the "children of 9/11".  Enchassi told the audience that there actually is one of these children living in Edmond right now.  His family is Muslim and his father was killed in one of the towers.  This child was born on September 13, 2001.  The boy's mother moved him to Oklahoma to get him away from that "children of 9/11" community and let him grow up outside of that shadow as much as possible.  However, his mother did allow him to be interviewed for a CNN interview this year and the boy said something along the lines of "if there are people who are mean to me, I have to be nice to them.  I don't want to be nice to them but it's what my father would have wanted me to do."

Finally, there was a ceremony where children from each of the faiths filled up a glass with sand, showing that if all 3 groups would just work together we could truly form something beautiful.  Here's a picture of the table holding symbols of all 3 religions as well as the jar at the end of the ceremony.

Anyway, I know this was a really long blog and want to thank the 2 of you who stick it out to read the whole thing.  Have a great day!

Music for Tulip

Well, my very good friend Tulip asked me today what music I would recommend for her to download to her new iphone and my answer to such an exciting question is undoubtedly too long to put into a simple FB post so I am embracing the challenge and will use this blog to tell her (and anyone else who cares to know) about all of my very favorite songs for different things. 

To start I should tell you how I'm going to organize this list.  Of course I prefer different types of music for different reasons.  I'll break this down into groups so that you see where the music fits into my life.  This doesn't mean that you will feel the same but it's the only way to satisfy the organizational tendencies I can't seem to get away from ;-)

* As a side note, I've finished my list and am shocked by how long it is.  Looking over it I tried to pare my selections down a little but could not cut any of these songs.  I adore all of them. I did put the best of the best in bold to help a little.  You might notice that I didn't really list any current pop songs.  While I really enjoy bopping around listening to them I don't feel that many current pop songs really have much staying power so I don't tend to buy many of them on my ipod.  To compile this list I literally scrolled through my ipod and listed my favorites. My favorites of all of those listed are in the first group - songs to sing at the top of my lungs.  So without further adieu, here is my list :-)

Favorite Songs to Sing At the Top of My Lungs.

• Savage Garden.  I've loved their Affirmation cd since I was in college and can't get enough of it.  My favorites from this album are: Affirmation, The Animal Song, I Knew I Loved You, The Lover After Me 
• Glee.  Gosh, I love so many of the Glee covers.  I'll try to list only the ones that I absolutely adore but this will still be a really long list.  Here we go: Bust Your Window, Defying Gravity, Dog Days are Over, For Good, Friday, Hate on Me, I Dreamed a Dream, I Want to Hold Your Hand, Light Up the World, Loser Like Me, Listen, Maybe This Time, O Holy Night, Sing, Smile (the Charlie Chaplin version - I actually want this song to play at my funeral.  An amazing song for sure), Somebody To Love, Somewhere Only We Know, Songbird, Taking Chances, Valerie, What I Did For Love  
• Reba McEntire.  She has been one of my favorite singers for as long as I can remember.  Again, I'll only list the songs I really love and will try to keep this list as succinct as possible: And Still, The Bridge You Burn (FUN, FUN SONG TO SING), Consider Me Gone, What if It's You, I Know How He Feels, I'll Be, Just When I Thought I'd Stopped Loving You, Somebody Should Leave, Whoever's in New England 
• Mark Chestnut - Almost Goodbye (one of the very best songs to sing at the top of your lungs when you hit the climax of the song.)
• Donna Lewis - At the Beginning (yes, this is from the Anastasia soundtrack but it's such a terrific feel good song that I can't help but sing along when I hear it)
• Of course Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston.  Anything by either of them.
• Ne-Yo - Never Knew I Needed
• Rent and Hairspray Soundtracks - The whole darned cds.  I can't pick favorites from there. 
• Simon and Garfunkel - The Boxer
• Garth Brooks - Standing Outside the Fire, Learning To Live Again, We Shall Be Free
• Billy Joel - Longest Time, Goodnight Saigon, 
• Moulin Rouge - Come What May,Your Song, One Day I'll Fly Away
• Lorrie Morgan - Dear Me, Something in Red,
• Jordan Sparks - Don't Let It Go To Your Head
• Lady Gaga - Edge of Glory
• Pink - Perfect, Raise Your Glass
• Secondhand Serenade - Fall For You
• Melissa Etheridge - Fearless Love
• Lee Ann Womack - The Fool
• The Tangled Soundtrack - I See The Light, When Will My Life Begin
  
• Celine Dion - If I Were You, If You Could See Me Now, Love Can Move Mountains,
• Sylvia - Nobody
• Sara Evans - No Place That Far (I'm particularly partial to this one because it was the song Tommy and I had our first dance to after we were married.)
• Mark Willis - She's In Love, Wish You Were Here
• Jon McLaughlin - So Close
• Martina McBride - Wrong Again
  

Favorite Music to Work To: These are in my playlist for when I'm working on the computer and need something in the background that isn't too distracting but that I still enjoy listening to:

• 1.  A variety of John Williams compositions.  I have his greatest hits 1969-1999 in my ipod and like just about every song there.  In fact, I have it playing as I write this blog.  Some of my personal favorites are: Seven Years in Tibet, Born on the Forth of July, Saving Private Ryan, Empire of the Sun.
• Josh Groban.  Some people will laugh but I really enjoy some of this songs.  My favorite songs are: War At Home, Per Te, Love Only Knows, You Raise Me Up (I know, people really make fun of this song but I just love it!), All'Improviso Amore, Broken Vow.
• Ingrid Michaelson - Turn to Stone
• Jason Mraz - Beautiful Mess, If It Kills Me
• John Ondrasik - All I Know
• The Sleepless in Seattle Soundtrack.
• Franz Biebl's Ave Maria (A beautiful song that I first heard when my high school's men's choir sang it)
• Brian McNight - One Last Cry
• Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong
• Luther Vandross
• Rodgers and Hammerstein - The Sound of Music and Cinderella Soundtracks
• Ever After Soundtrack 
• DeVotchKa - How it Ends
• Paul McCrane - Is It Okay If I Call You Mine?
• Al Green
• Bruckner - Os Justi
• Ray Charles - The Genius Loves Company album

Music to dance around the house to.

• Ne-Yo - Beautiful Monster
• All 3 Twilight Soundtracks so far.
• Muse.  I can never turn off the following songs: Map of the Problematique, Supermassive Black Hole, Invincible, Uprising
• Sara Bareilles's Kaleidoscope Heart cd
• Dexy's Midnight Runners - Come On Eileen 
• Scissor Sisters - I Don't Feel Like Dancing
• Culture Club - Karma Chameleon
• Plain White T's - Our Time Now, Rhythm of Love
• Adele - Rolling In The Deep
• Linkin Park - Waiting for the End
• Leo Sayer - You Make Me Feel Like Dancing
• Cee Lo Green - Forget You

Of course most of my favorite music is from soundtracks.  I truly think that those are the best way to get a well rounded music collection in as easy a way as possible.  Favorite soundtracks that don't really fit in the other categories are:

• Dirty Dancing
• Grease
• The Last Song
• Coyote Ugly
• 10 Things I Hate About You
• A Walk to Remember (Awesome cd!)
• It's not technically a soundtrack but I also love the Chicken Soup for the Soul cd.  I'll put it here because even though it's not a soundtrack it is a compilation.

Anyone have any additions to this list that (in spite of it's length) is certainly not exhaustive?

Police Week

Many people are unaware of the importance of this week, but for those of us who know it exists it's a difficult one.  In 1963, John F Kennedy Jr signed a proclamation that from then on, every year the week containing May 15th would be known as National Police Week.  If you'd like to see the actual proclamation, it's available at this location:

http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=24099#axzz1MZutzh00

Anyway, police week is a time for us to come together and honor the lives of our fallen officers.  Every year on May 15th there is a National Police Memorial Service in Washington DC where the previous year's fallen officers and their families are recognized.  At this year's service there were 165 names read.  158 officers killed in the line of duty last year and 7 names that had gone unrecognized previously.  And there have already been 69 officers killed in America in 2011.  69 more names to be added next year.  That's a 10 percent increase from where we were at this time last year.  Another scary statistic is that 31 of this year's deaths have been gunfire related, a 41 percent increase over 2010.

I'm not sure why but gun violence against officers is happening in higher numbers than I've seen in the time that I've made it a point to pay attention to these things (which has been at least 5 years).  And our officers still go out every day into the fray.  They kiss their spouses and children goodbye in the morning (or the afternoon or evening - we all know that police work doesn't follow regular bankers hours) and pray to make it home safely at the end of shift.  I won't turn this into a whole "this is the police life" post because that's not what I intend for it to be.  I just want to draw attention to the importance of this week, which many people feel is just another week. 

I encourage anyone reading this to take a few moments and visit the Officer Down website at the following address http://www.odmp.org/search/year?year=2011. It's certainly a sobering list to look at. Please pick an officer at random and pray for the family, friends and department who are mourning that individual.  Pray for all of them together.  Pray for our officers still serving and those who are out there right now while many of us sleep.

In total there are almost 19,000 names listed on the National Memorial walls, dating back to the first known LODD (line of duty death) in 1791.  Depending on the year, there are between 25,000 and 40,000 attendees at Police Week in DC annually.  I hope to be able to volunteer at the service one year and help carry the load for some of the families. 

This year I will be participating in both our Norman Memorial Service and the Oklahoma Law Enforcement Memorial Service. The Norman service will be held on Thursday, May 19th at the Norman Police Department where we will honor the 6 officers and deputies from the Norman Police Dept and the Cleveland County Sheriffs Dept who have been killed in the line over the last 100 years or so.  Then on Friday morning at 10 we will hold the Oklahoma Memorial at the DPS facility in OKC.  At this event we recognize every officer killed in Oklahoma in the last 5 years.  It is a truly moving service and I would love to see some of you there to share in supporting the families of these heroic men and women.   Take a look at this website (http://www.oklemem.com/Memorialservice.htm) and you will see pictures of the event over the last few years.  They deserve our support and I'm proud I'm able to be there and help wherever I can.

If you aren't able to attend a service please just take a few moments to think of our fallen officers, their families and all of those currently engaged in law enforcement and lift them up in prayer. 

This isn't a very well written post but I just wanted to get some resources out there so you can see for yourself the sacrifices that these officers are making for all of us.  I know we all understand it in a technical sense but to actually see names and pictures, to hear their stories and the numbers added up it really makes the whole thing so much more real.  Thanks for indulging me.

Randomness

Two blogs in one day?! Goodness gracious, I must be on some kind of kick, huh?

Anyway, I'm not sure what I want to write tonight - only that I just want to talk.  I've been deprived of real adult conversation for most of the afternoon and evening.  I know that many of you are aware that I truly enjoy my personal space and quiet time when Tommy works late and that I generally like having a few evenings a week to myself.  Having said that, he has worked such ridiculous hours this last week and a half that I actually miss having him around in the evenings.  I'm counting on a nice family weekend to help us all reconnect after what will have been 2 very busy weeks. 

So I guess the point of this blog is just to "talk" for a few minutes.  I started to write up a whole thing about our weekend and how crazy it was, but that was boring even me so I deleted it.  Instead I found a little survey to fill out and keep me busy.  Before I fill this out, let me make a small public service announcement.  I clipped off the portions of the survey that asked for my full name, birthdate, birth place, etc.  Please be cautious about posting all of that information anywhere.  Often those surveys can be used by unsavory types who might want to steal your identity.  Just a friendly suggestion :-)

So, without further adieu, here are some things you might not know about me!

How many & what kind of pets do you have?	We have a yorkie-poo named Ringo.  He's very sweet and a wonderful watch dog for our family.
What's your job?	I'm the branch broker of a real estate company and work as a full-time Realtor myself.
What's your Dream Job?	I'm doing it!
Who is your best friend?	Gosh, I've got so many.  The primary ones are Tommy, Celeste, Deanna.  But I have so many amazing friends!
What instruments do you play?	I played the flute in high school and college.  Not once since then ;-)
What are your hobbies?	Reading, dancing, signing at the top of my lungs as I drive around town!
Would you ever sky dive or bungee jump?	I would love to!  But haven't yet and as I get older I think it's less and less likely to happen.
What kind of books and/or magazines do you read?	All different kinds.  But my favorite author is and always will be Dean Koontz (even though I like his older books more than his new)
How would do describe yourself?	Optimistic, friendly, outgoing
What is a topic you wish you knew more about?	The good news about liking reading is that I can look up anything I want to know more about :-)
What do you daydream about?	A day without any responsibilities at all.  Not likely to ever happen!
What are your religious/spiritual beliefs?	I believe in Christ.  I believe that in him all things are possible and that we must do our best to live in his image.
List 3 Things You Would Change About Yourself:
One:	Be more patient with the girls.
Two:	Not argue so much.  I love to debate just for the sake of debating - Tommy doesn't like it so much ;-)
Three:	I wish I was more motivated to exercise.
Either / Or
Shy or Outgoing?	Have we met? Outgoing
Spender or Saver?	I'm pretty cheap but have a hard time saying no to Tommy or the girls so I'm a saver when it comes to me and a spender when it comes to them.
Truth or Dare?	Truth.  I'm a pretty open book.
Books or Movies?	Both.  Depending on the day.
Romantic Comedy or Action Adventure?	Neither is my favorite but if I had to choose I guess it'd be romantic comedy.
Cats or Dogs?	Both.  I like both for very different reasons.
Mountain or Beach?	Mountain.  I hate summer heat.  The beach in the early spring or late fall is nice though.
Sweet or Salty?	Sweet
Do You...
Smoke?	No.  Not ever.
Drink?	Yes.  A glass of wine or a beer a couple of nights a week.
Get annoyed easily?	Sometimes
Like to travel?	Absolutely.  But it's hard with kids.
Like to drive fast?	Uh, yeah.  Too fast.
Sing well?	I think I do, but who knows?
Want kids?	I love the ones I've got - don't want any more.
-----What would you name a boy?	I liked the name Anthony but never got to use it.
-----What would you name a girl?	If I could have picked another name I loved the combination of Katherine Elizabeth.  So many potential nicknames!
Have You Ever...
Performed on stage? In what?	Yes.  Choir and band in high school and college.  In college I went to NYC w/ the choir and sang at Carnegie Hall, which was very cool.
Been in a car accident?	Yes.  Again in college I once had a period where I was in 3 within 2 weeks of each other.  None were my fault (seriously!)
Been out of the country? Where?	Yes.  S Korea and Ireland
What Is...
The last CD you bought?	Gosh.  The last actual CD?  I think it was the first Glee soundtrack and I bought it on the drive back from my grandmother's funeral in AZ.  It was a long drive!
The last movie you saw in the theater?	Hop.  I was not a fan - but I still love James Marsden.
The last movie you rented?	The Switch.  I rented it a few days ago and still haven't watched it.
Your greatest fear?	Something happening to one of the girls.
Your greatest strength?	My optimism
Your greatest weakness?	My imagination.  It causes me to worry too much about my greatest fear.
Your happiest memory?	I don't think I could pick just one.  I've been so blessed in this life.
Your Favorite...
Movie:	A Walk to Remember, The Family Stone, Meet Me In St Louis.  I can't choose between those 3.
TV Show:	Brothers and Sisters, The Good Wife
Actor:	Shane West - Love him!
Actress:	Sandra Bullock
Food:	Tex Mex.  From Texas, not the Oklahoma kind.
Drink:	Wine, Coffee
Color:	Green
Scent:	Depends on my mood
Season & WHY:	Fall.  You can just feel winter coming and I love it!
Day of the week & WHY:	Friday.  Does it really need explaining?
Store:	Target
Quote:	"Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster. Your life will never be the same again." -- Og Mandino, The Greatest Miracle in the World ."You pile up enough tomorrows and you'll be left with nothing but a bunch of empty yesterdays...I'd like to make today worth remembering." - Meredith Willson, The Music Man

Hate Crime?

Ok, I've go no time today and meetings non-stop but I ran by the office for 20 minutes so I could write this blog and get it off my chest.  I'm hoping to squeeze my thoughts into this post before I have to head out to the next appointment.  Please excuse any rambling or unpolished thoughts - I won't have much time to proof this before posting.

So, unless you live under a rock you have heard about the possible hate crime at a McDonalds in Baltimore on April 18.  If you haven't, here's the long and short of it.  A transgender woman, Chrissy Lee Polis went to use the women's restroom at a McDonalds and was attacked by two teenagers as she exited the rstroom after having done her business.  For the duration of the attack an employee of the store recorded the whole event and can be heard laughing on the video. 

At first glance this looks like it could have definitely been a hate crime.  But something bothered me about the whole thing when I read a news article today in the Norman Transcript about this particular case.  Polis stated in a couple of different articles I've seen that the fight started because the attacker didn't want Polis talking to the attacker's boyfriend.  So I wanted the full story and kept digging.  I found this video on youtube and if you scroll to the 5 minute, 45 second time stamp you can see an interview given by Polis accounting the events leading up to the beating.  In it she says that the attackers assaulted her because of the fact that she had previously spoken for a few seconds with one of their boyfriends.  At no time does she mention that they said anything about her transgender status.  Take a look:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMjqxMrIRtA

The entire video is worth watching but the Polis's interview is most interesting to me.  I'm not saying that what happened to this young woman wasn't horrible.  And I'm not saying that the attackers (as well as any employees who stood by and didn't do so much as call the police) shouldn't be held responsible but I really think that the punishment should fit the crime.  But based on the victim's own statement this was not a hate crime. 

Now, I will add a caveat that I've heard that Miss Polis has changed her story a couple of times so maybe this isn't a full accounting of the events.  But I think law enforcement should certainly tread lightly and that we as a public should not be so quick to jump on this "hate crime" bandwagon simply because the victim happened to be transgender.  If the clip above is to be believed, her transgender status had nothing to do with the attack - and it's Polis herself telling us that. 

Anyway, I can't claim to know what actually happened at the store.  All I intend for anyone to take from this blog (which is really me just rambling because I had to get this off my chest) is that there are actual hate crimes occuring all the time in our country and around the world.  I don't want to see us trivialize the hate crime status by attaching it to every victim who happens to be gay, or black, or transgender or muslim.  Let's make sure we respect the actual victims of hate crimes enough to scrutinize these cases before labeling them as such.